I know mindset is everything, but sometimes I need a friendly reminder, which is why when I picked up Gabrielle Bernstein’s new book, Super Attractor. I must admit I feel like I picked up this book at precisely the right moment. What do I mean by that you might be thinking? I mean, I picked it up when I was ready and open to the idea of making a mental shift by acknowledging some of my negative, fear-based thoughts and replacing them with positive love-based thoughts.
In the event, you are not yet aware, (and don’t be embarrassed if you are not) as I just learned this a few years ago that there are only two emotions, love, and fear, and our brains are wired for fear. Kind of a bummer if you think about it, but the good news is once you realize that you can start to shift the negative fear-based thoughts into positive ones. The thing is, it is not a one and done type of activity but one that requires constant attention.
Gabby Berenstein beautifully articulates how do do this by suggesting a “choose again” option to a fear-based thought. I wanted to share a quick (and funny) example of how crazy wired my brain is for fear and negativity because it is exactly what Gabby is referring to in her beautiful book.
By way of background, I live about 20 miles west of Washington, DC, and there is a planned community with a picturesque little downtown area called The Reston Town Center (RTC) filled with shops and restaurants. For years the parking was free, but when the plans began for the Silver Line Metro to run through Reston, everything changed.
If you live around here, I bet I just struck a neve because nothing gets the locals more upset than the newly implemented paid parking. And, it is not just because you have to pay, but because you have to download a proprietary app on your phone and it is always unclear if you need to pay during certain times or certain locations. The bottom line on this most people just stopped going to RTC to shop and eat. Except me.
I must admit, I like RTC, and I am not opposed to paying $3.00 to park because it affords me the ability to park right in front of a store, and convenience is king for me. Now, one more thing I will share before my story is there seems to be a no mercy policy for the parking, so I know enough to know if I am going to park I need to pay.
Anyway, Saturday afternoon, I park on the street parking, paid for an hour, and hopped out of my car to run my errands. Just based on a gut feeling, I knew I was close to my parking expiring, so I start walking to my car. I noticed the parking patrol has his golf cart right next to my car. I continued walking confidently and began to get in my car. The parking attendant starts to approach me and gives me a “flag me down” kinda wave and asks me to hold on a second. Now, I feel my body start to tense, I’m thinking about how I paid for my parking, and I am going to completely freak if I get a ticket. Well, it gets worse before it gets better as he has a colored paper folded and starts to approach me. I don’t remember my exact reaction, but I think I am shaking my head no as if I refuse the ticket I won’t have to pay it! Anyway, he is looking at me and says, “It isn’t a ticket; it is a pass for 2 hours free next time you come to the town center.” I stood there staring and him and then we both started laughing. I said, “thank you,” and drove away. I was so grateful for the opportunity to so clearly see how powerful my thoughts are.
This book is filled with so many good recommendations on how to incorporate positive thinking into your daily life. The book had me hooked in the introduction! I find myself looking for and acknowledging the wins during the day to help keep my spirits lifted. Little things count too like all green lights on the way to yoga, front row parking, a new Hampton Paper order. When I negative thought runs through my head, I acknowledge it, reword it in my head, and remind myself of something positive that has happened that day.
P.S Gabby is big on looking for a “sign” when trying to make a decision. Hers is an owl. She suggests creating your own as a way to help you feel reassured and that you are moving in the right direction. I contemplated this for a while, as just exploring this caused me anxiety. An image of something came to mind, and I hesitated. It seemed silly, and where would I see this image? It took me a few hours to make the mental commitment, and I just decided to give it a try. And sure enough, I saw the image later that night. Coincidence? Maybe but I will admit I felt flooded with relief. Now, I am noting when I see the image. It feels like a little reassurance from the universe. I’ll take it!
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